Hand in hand Lily and Oliver come down the stairwell entering the cafeteria at school.
OLIVER
Oh I am so sorry ladies it's to late. But don't hate. Ollie's already got a prom date!
They walk over to a group of guys.
LILY
Oh and ... you can have your eggs and have your bacon but argh ... you can't have Lily 'cause she is taken!
OLIVER
Oh did you see that! (they walk away) You know you are just so adorable!
LILY
You are!
OLIVER
Let's go to prom together!
LILY
OK.
OLIVER
Alright!
LILY
You know it's so great not having to sit around praying that the one guy you really want to go with will ask you. That feeling of being so desperate. So neeedy ... so ....
They look over and see Miley by herself at a table glancing at a boy.
MILEY
Ask me. Ask me. Ask me. Ask me!
LILY
So that.
MILEY
Ask me. Ask me. Ask me. Cheap shot. Ask me. Ask me. Ask me NOW! You ask me NOW!
Oliver rests his arm over Lily's shoulder.
OLIVER
Isn't that what you used on me?
LILY
Yeah. You bet ... (they join Miley) Miley you don't seriously think that argh ... 'this' is going to get Hottie Lomottie to ask you to prom do you?
MILEY
You're right. You're right. I'm acting like a little lovesick puppy ... you know if it's meant to happen it'll happen.
LILY
Absolutely. Good for you.
OLIVER
We'll see you after class.
MILEY
I mean either way is fine with me. I mean I'm an ... independent ... mature .... strong woman.
As she notices Gabe walking past she dismisses her bag on the floor and swings over the opposite side. She coughs at him.
MILEY
(through coughing) Ask me to prom! Ask me to prom!
OLIVER
Oh single people.
LILY
So sad.
OLIVER
(to Lily) You are so cute.
LILY
You are cute!
OLIVER
You're cuter!
They mock romantic quotes at each other and as they bend over Miley she breaks them apart.
***
OPENING CREDITS
starring MILEY CYRUS
EMILY OSMENT
MITCHELL MUSSO
JASON EARLES
MOISES ARIAS
and BILLY-RAY CYRUS
***
Miley looks up the stairwell and stands as Gabe walks past.
GABE
Hey Miley.
MILEY
Oh ... hey Gabe. Hey ... didn't even see you there. Where you headed? Over over ... there?
She points towards a poster advertising the Junior prom.
GABE
Argh ... yeah ... you know. I'm just heading to English.
As Gabe walks off Miley follows.
MILEY
Oh OK ... let me just ... argh ... that would be to your right ... past the prom poster. And then another right ... by the prom poster that argh ... that you just saw.
GABE
Right ... got it.
MILEY
You better hurry. It's always good to be 'prom'! (beating) Prom pft! Prom pft!
She walks away.
***
Miley is standing at her locker looking at herself in a small hand mirror. She is stroking her hair. Lily is standing behind her.
LILY
(whispering) Hottie at 3:00!
Miley throws her mirror away back in her locker and slams the door. She leans against the locker attractively as Oliver puts his hand around Lily's shoulders and they walk by.
MILEY
Ewgh! I waisted a good hair flip on Oliver?
LILY
What! He's a hottie to me.
OLIVER
So cute.
LILY
You're so cute!
The two mock this quote at each other - much to Miley's annoyance.
MILEY
OK never not gross.
OLIVER
(whispers to Lily) Bitter.
He walks away.
MILEY
Quick! Here's Gabe. Give me your perfume!
Miley reaches for Lily's handbag and takes out something somewhat similar to a perfume bottle ... but it's a blow horn.
LILY
No that's not my perfume that's my ...
But it's to late ... Miley presses in on the blow horn and the sound goes off in her ear. She falls to the ground in alarm.
LILY
... Safety siren. (Gabe continues walking) Well on the plus side he didn't notice you.
Miley reaches out to bite Lily's foot.
LILY
Argh! (runs away)
***
Gabe is talking to a girl near the soda vending machine in the hall. Miley jumps in and pushes her aside.
MILEY
Hey Gabe. There you are again. Are you following me? 'Cause here we are...again.
GABE
Just gettin' something to eat...
MILEY
Oh, well I'm actually gettin' a low-cal beverage myself. Gonna make sure I'm looking good for any upcoming pep rallies, proms, football games, proms...and I don't know...the occasional prom ... (grabs beverage) And eh...pop goes the weasel! (the can foams over and squirts all over Miley) Please tell me you thought that was adorable!
GABE
Miley, are you Okay?
MILEY
No. I'm not. I mean why can't you get that I wanna go to prom with you?(sucking up) She said sweetly.
GABE
Miley I'd love to --
MILEY
YES!
GABE
But I can't, Theresa Hartman already asked me this morning.
MILEY
(hurt) Oh ... that's Okay. I mean Theresa is a great girl ... and I bet for prom she will even shave her back.
GABE
What?
MILEY
(defensive) I'm just saying. Bye!
***
Miley and Lily are sitting at a table in the cafeteria. Miley is sad.
LILY
Think about it this way: Now you don't have to worry about getting you hair done or finding the right shoes or finding that perfect dress that flows just right when you're slow dancing on that big romantic dance floor ... feeling like the most special girl in the whole wide world ...
Miley presses in on the blow horn to shut Lily up. Opposite them a girl Amy is sitting. Aaron the school nerd nervously approaches her.
AARON
So Amy. I was thinking that maybe ... if you're not going to the argh ... you know ... prom event ... salutatory thing yet .... maybe you and I could possibly ... maybe ... go together. Or in separate cars. If that makes you more comfortable. We could go there together or in separate cars. (takes out rose)Prom?
AMY
Whoa! That's totally sweet of you. But to tell you the truth I'm waiting for somebody better to ask ... sorry.
Amy walks away guiltily.
AARON
(hurt) Oh ... OK. Appreciate the honesty.
He takes a seat.
MILEY
Poor Aaron.
LILY
Yeah no kidding. Man I am so glad I'm not out there any more. (laughs) That is embarrassing. (Miley gives her a stare) Not that there aren't positives I mean suffering helps you grow as a person.
MILEY
You know Lily you really should write a book.
LILY
About what?
MILEY
I don't care as long as you stop talking. I'll be back. (Miley walks over to Aaron's table. His head is lying on the table) Hey Aaron.
AARON
(awakens) Sorry I'll move.
He gets up to move but Miley stops him.
MILEY
No! No ... sit ... um ...
He cautiously moves back to his seat as Miley sits beside him.
MILEY
I just want to say ... I saw what happen with Amy and I think it's totally unfair. Any girl in this school would be lucky to go to prom with a guy as nice as you.
AARON
Really? You mean that?
MILEY
Yeah! (gives his hat a friendly flick) You're great and don't you forget it.
Miley starts walking away - but Aaron jumps out of his seat.
AARON
Will you go with me?
Miley stops.
LILY
(whispering) Keep walking!
Miley slowly paces away.
AARON
Argh ... Miley ...
MILEY
(under breath) Dang it! (turns back to Aaron) You meant me Miley?
AARON
Will you go to prom with me?
Miley looks over at Lily and sees that she is waving her arm under her neck in a classic symbolization to mean 'no'.
MILEY
(takes rose) Sure.
AARON
Yes! My best friend is not going to believe this.
He takes out his phone and starts dialing in numbers. Miley laughs as Aaron raises it to his ears.
AARON
Hello mum? You're not going to believe this ---
Aaron walks off as Lily walks over to Miley.
LILY
I saw that coming from the minute you got up.
MILEY
Look. You know what it's OK. I'm doing a nice thing and ... I feel great about it.
Theresa and Gabe arm in arm strode past Miley and Lily.
THERESA
Gabe prom is going to be so much fun.
As they walk past Miley she puts out her foot and Theresa trips over. Gabe runs to her aid. Miley laughs.
MILEY
And now I feel even better.
She flicks her hair back as she walks away.
***
In the Stewart house. Robby is doing the laundry as Jackson comes down yawning.
JACKSON
Morning dad.
ROBBY
Morning? It's two in the afternoon.
JACKSON
Fine, good afternoon than, Mr. Technicallity. Wow, somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed
ROBBY
(calm) Yes I did. (furious) Six hours ago!
JACKON
Oh, no wonder you're cranky. You probably need a nap. (walks in the kitchen)
ROBBY
And you need a kick in the butt. You know, I let you come home from College because you said you were homesick. And now I'm homesick, too. Sick I'm having you home doing nothing. Now just because Tennessee didn't work out doesn't mean you still can't go to College.
JACKSON
But Dad, what if I don't want to go to College?
ROBBY
And do what? You gotta have some plans for future.
JACKSON
I have a plan. Inherit half of your money and if that runs out write a tell all book about Miley. Done and done.
ROBBY
Oh you're done alright. It's time for you to cowboy up and act like a man. Now tomorrow morning you're going down to Malibu Community College and enrolling.
JACKSON
I hear what you're saying Dad and I love the fact that you are so concerned about...eh...(sniffs the clean laundry) That smells great. Are you doing something different?
ROBBY
Actually I am. Half way through the (???) cycle I added added just a dash of softener. It's made all the difference in the world.
JACKSON
I can feel it.
ROBBY
Oh, that is so nice when someone notices the hard...wait a minute. We were talking about college.
JACKON
Oh right...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to try to change...look at that shine (points on the floor) Are you whipping the floor with something different?
ROBBY
I'm about to. Tomorrow. College. A.M. That means the morning.
JACKSON
No, actually it means a morning not the morning otherwise it would be T.M. And I'm the one that's asked to go to college (walks upstairs)
ROBBY
(as Jackson has gone) A tell all book about Miley? That's not a bad idea.
JACKSON
(looking around the corner) RIGHT!
ROBBY
Get up there!
***
The next morning. Robby is yelling for Jackson to get up. Robby returns to the kitchen.
ROBBY
Jackson Rod Stewart it's nine in the morning. I want your rear in gear in your car on your way to higher education in the next two minutes!
Jackson comes down coughing and with a rash on his face. Jackson enters the kitchen.
JACKSON
Dad. I don't feel so good.
ROBBY
Ohhh, (feels Jackson's forehead) poor little feela! Looks like you got a case of "I think my Dad's an idiot"-itis.
JACKSON
I'm not always trying to pull something. Sometimes I really am sick. (coughs)And now, not only does my head hurt but thanks to you so does my heart. It would be nice if you believe me once in a while. (Jackson turns away to go upstairs and Robby sees that the red pen ink has spread across Jackson's butt)
ROBBY
And it would be nice if you put that lid back on that felt pen. Now the rash is spread to your butt. (Jackson takes out red pen and shrugs) Now get upstairs and change.
JACKSON
Fine.
As Miley comes down she laughs at Jackson.
MILEY
Haha...Pen rash...I tried that when I was thirteen. (the two of them begin mocking each other)
You just spit in my eye!
JACKSON
Yeah I did. Yeah I did.
Jackson walks up, Miley walks in the kitchen to join Robby.
MILEY
I just wanna thank you for being brave enough to have a second child.
Miley takes a glass of orange juice.
ROBBY
Honey we all develop at our own pace.
MILEY
Whatever stops the tears daddy.
Miley goes and sits at the table.
ROBBY
I'll tell you one thing I'm proud of ... the way you stepped up to the plate tonight to go to the prom with that Aaron boy. You know that probably means the world to him.
MILEY
I'm happy to do it. Aaron's a sweet guy and ... you know sometimes it feels good doing something just because it's the right thing. (mobile rings and she answers) Hello?
Cut to a recording studio - David Archuleta is on the phone.
DAVID
Hey. Hannah - it's David Archuleta.
Scene cuts to both of their locations during conversation.
MILEY
Hey David. What's up!
DAVID
Oh I'm in town recording and I was just thinking about how we were talking about doing a duet together.
MILEY
Oh yeah I'd love to. Any time's great except for argh ...
DAVID
(cutting her off) Tonight?
MILEY
Exactly.
DAVID
So you'll do it?
MILEY
Yeah.
DAVID
Oh great.
MILEY
When?
DAVID
Tonight.
MILEY
Tonight?
DAVID
Tonight. (examines phone) Have we got a bad connection?
MILEY
No! Argh ...
DAVID
I know it's last minute but I'm leaving town tomorrow and I just really wanted to work with you. But if you can't I totally understand.
MILEY
No! Argh ... (looks over at her father who is grinning at her) I was just going to say that um ... (paces into living room and whispers. Robby follows behind) I can cancel what I'm doing tonight. See you later! Bye. (hangs up and turns to be confronted by father) N'argh! You know tomorrow ... I'm going to get you one of those cat bells. Ding-a-ling-a-ling.
ROBBY
Miley Miley Miley.
MILEY
Whoa. There is no reason to three-Miley me. There is a perfectly good explanation for ...
ROBBY
(cutting her off again) Breaking that boy's heart?
MILEY
OK Daddy. I think you need a little bit of perspective here. See if I go to prom with Aaron I make one guy happy ... but if I do this duet with David we make millions of people happy. (they walk into the kitchen) So I think that if Aaron knew this he would be the first to insist that I bail on prom and if he doesn't ... I don't want to go with someone so selfish anywayz. Oh and another thing is ...(Robby walks out) he kinda took advantage of me you know ... when he cornered me into going out with him tonight. So I think that boy actually owes me an apology.
Robby walks in with a spade.
ROBBY
Here you go. (hands Miley spade)
MILEY
What's this for?
ROBBY
Well if you're going to pile it out that deep you're going to need that to get yourself out.
MILEY
(as Robby walks off) I still shine next to Jackson!
ROBBY
(turning back) Whatever stops the tears darling.
***
Miley walks up to the porch outside Aaron's house and revises her lines for bailing on him.
MILEY
Ah...Ok...Aron, I'm sorry but....No! Um, Aron look...I...eh, in life (???) things happen but... No...ehm...come on, just do it. Do it you gutless little Jellyfish, do it! (rings the bell) Oh no, I did it! (to her finger) Why did you do it...let's go!
As she is about to walk away Aaron answers the door.
AARON
Miley, hey...hi...hey there.
MILEY
Aron...hi ... hey. Why are you in your tux already?
AARON
Oh, actually it's my Dad's tux my grandma is just tailoring a little.
MILEY
See, about that...
Aarons Grandma yells after him and interrupts them as she walks out .
GRANDMA
Aaron? Who is at the door? Oh, you must be Miley. Oh you see Aaron I told you some pretty girl would snap you up.
MILEY
Yeah, about that...
GRANDMA
(calling in the house) Grandpa, you were wrong, the boy didn't make her up. You owe me five bucks.
MILEY
You live with your grandparents?
AARON
No, my parents are out buying a new camera for tonight.
MILEY
A new camera?
GRANDMA
Have to capture the big night. We flew in from Pittsburgh as soon as we got the news. Last minute flights are expensive so we had to dip in to our meat money.
MILEY
Your meat money?
GRANDMA
But it was worth it, just to see the smile on my Grandson's face (she pinches his cheek)
AARON
Gran! Gran! Please!
GRANDMA
Oh alright. I'll leave you two alone. (entering) Grandpa get out of their refrigerator...it's their meat.
Aaron shuts the door on his Grandma.
AARON
Sorry about that.
MILEY
Yeah, it's OK. I forgive you because after all forgiveness is the most important thing in this world. It's what you know... it makes us human and seperates us for the animal kingdom, which reminds me...someday we should go to the zoo and then I can explain you why I can't go to the prom with you which you know .... we'll have a big old laugh ... ha ... ha ... love you see you at school buh bye.
She hurries away and leaves Aaron on the porch watching her leave ... hurt.
AARON
... Bye Miley.
He walks inside.
***
Robby is in the kitchen. He throws something out the window as Jackson enters.
ROBBY
So son ... how did registration go?
JACKSON
It didn't OK! I went down there ... I stood in line ... the woman called out next and I ... didn't want to be next! I didn't even want to be next to next ... or next to the next to the next. Next to the next...
ROBBY
I think you skipped a next.
JACKSON
No that next left before I did.
ROBBY
Jackson ...
JACKSON
Look face it Dad! I'm not College material. I'm ... I'm ... sleep till noon ... eat toaster waffles ... play football online with some kid in Iceland ... and then take a power nap till dinner material! That's who I am. Just ... accept it. Embrace it. Leave it alone.
ROBBY
I think I know what this is about. It's totally natural for someone to be scared about going to College.
JACKSON
Scared? You think I'm scared .... You think that Jackson Rod Stewart is scared? Pft...Tss...Pft...H'hh (starts crying)
I'm terrified (snots his nose on Robbies shirt)
ROBBY
It's Ok son. It's OK. Change is always scary but I know that you're brave enough and smart enough. You can handle it.
JACKSON
No I'm not dad. Look at me I'm a mess.
ROBBY
It's OK son, if you don't wanna go to College you don't have to.
JACKSON
Really?
ROBBY
Absolutely. If you wanna work at Rico's for the rest of your life...totally fine by me.
JACKSON
For the rest of my life?
(Jackson starts to imagine his life in 60 Years)
Jackson sleeps in Rico's counter and Rico walks in with a walking frame...both are 70+....at least.
RICO
Hey Yoo...my aching back. Jackson, wake up.
JACKSON
Miley Stewart is Hannah Montana...Oh no, I just gave up the secret.
RICO
What secret? She anounced it at Revital Farewell Concert fifty Years ago.
JACKSON
Oh that's right yeah. I missed that one because I was eh...I was eh...I was eh(falls asleep)
RICO
Jackson!
JACKSON
Miley Stewart is Hannah Montana!
RICO
You're the worst excuse for an employee I ever had. You're fired.
JACKSON
But...but what will I do? I never went to College
RICO
That's your problem. Muhahah... (laughing heads to coughing)
Back to the present.
JACKSON
I gotta register for college.
(runs out of the house)
Robby picks up Jackson's keys and is waiting for him to get them. As Jackson comes back he throws the keys to him.
JACKSON
Thanks Dad.
Robby nods. As Jackson wants to go again he crashes with his head against the door.
ROBBY
I'm gonna have to leave that boy a lot of money ...
***
Hannah is in the studio with David Archuleta singing their new song. While they are singing David hands out a rose to Miley ... and is reminded of Aaron whom she bailed on and starts to feel guilty
DAVID
Is everything Ok?
HANNAH
I'm sorry David. I just...I can't do this.
DAVID
It was the onion bagle wasn't it? (covers his mouth as Miley gets herself from seat).
HANNAH
No, no. You're fine. Just maybe next duet you might wanna try a nice little lemon bar.
DAVID
Well what is it? Oh no! When I called you thought I was David Cook!
HANNAH
No no. It's just that um...I broke a promise that I really need to keep.
DAVID
Well that's cool then. Do what you have to do. I totally understand.
HANNAH
Thanks. (they hug as Hannah leaves) Bye.
As the music continues we see Miley coming down the stairs of the Stewart house in an elegant red dress. She goes to her Dad and he spins her. Cuts to Miley picking up Aaron for prom. She rings the doorbell and Aaron steps out. She hands him a rose. His family takes some snaps of them - and as we see them we also see some with Lily and Oliver included.
***
Jackson has another 'vision' of the future.
Old Jackson and Old Rico are sitting outside Rico's Shack at a table playing a cards game.
RICO
You got any eights?
JACKSON
Go fish! You got any fives?
RICO
Go fish!
JACKSON
Liar! I know you got fives.
RICO
How?
JACKSON
I looked at your hand when you went to the bathroom!
RICO
Why!
JACKSON
Well, you were in there long enough.
RICO
Cheater!
JACKSON
Liar!
RICO
Cheater!
JACKSON
Liar!
RICO
Cheater!
JACKSON
Liar!
RICO
Get set you old geezer. You're going down.
JACKSON
Well bring it on.
The two hit at each other lightly - this seems to tire them.
RICO
You OK?
JACKSON
Yeah. You?
RICO
Yeah.
RICO / JACKSON
And ... GO!
Rico falls on Jackson and the two end up wrestling against each other on the sand.
